A Personal Journey with Cancer

There are a myriad of things we wait for, processes we watch, knowing that there will be the beginning, the middle, and the end. We can wait in line at the grocery. We can wait for the news of a child’s birth. We can wait to learn whether the child we see fall at the playground will rise laughing or crying. We wait for the denouement in great films, plays, and stories. We wait for punch lines.

 

I’m waiting for the first of the test results that will indicate whether or not the prostatectomy I had in January got all of the cancer out of my body. I had the blood draw yesterday and was told that I might get the results by the end of the day today; hasn’t happened. Probably tomorrow. Maybe the next day. I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m waiting for the end, cancer-free, or the middle, didn’t get it all, more “treatments.” Whatever the news, it will also be the start of a new way of life.

 

I’m pretty good at waiting. I know how to distract myself with positive stuff, how to analyze reasons for my waiting (that sometimes seems important), and remind myself of my place in the universe. All these help me to make good use of time waiting. I’m not doing so well at those things tonight. Instead, I’m writing this blog entry because it’s a good thing I can do for myself and I hope some of you can relate, so when it’s your turn to wait for something like this you’ll remember that you’re not alone. Like I know some of you have done this same waiting before, so I’m not alone now. That helps me, social critter that I am, to remember our interconnectedness. I can take comfort from knowing that you read this. You can take comfort from knowing that I’m write this to you.

 

--- Steve 

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